


Long-Term Plans

by STARSdidathing



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Immortality, Loki Needs a Hug, M/M, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-25
Updated: 2015-09-25
Packaged: 2018-04-23 07:24:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4868183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/STARSdidathing/pseuds/STARSdidathing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not as simple as getting the apple. There are always trials when a God offers Immortality.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Long-Term Plans

**Author's Note:**

> So much of this is owed to Hal. THIS WOULD NOT EXIST WITHOUT HER. She read the initial email scene months ago and has let me toss fic at her for the last few hours as I finally structured the story around it. She is a gem. A _treasure_. She needs to be adored. ADORE HER.
> 
> (And just so you know, this fic was almost called: _'A Deciduous Tree', 'An Apple For Your Thoughts', 'Flowering When Ripe'_ and _'The One With The Apple'_. It was a close thing on that last one. Blame Hal. Half of those ideas weren't mine.)

Loki procures it quietly and carefully. He doesn't steal it because Frigga recognizes his plan the second he arrives on Asgard and is far too overjoyed by what it means to do anything but assist him. It makes it _technically_ legal but he's far from having Odin's permission on the matter. Loki feels something warm and light form in his chest at seeing the mischief in her eyes and knowing he has her approval and has given her joy.

"You must tell me what he says. You must bring him to me," she hugs him. "I'm so happy for you, Loki."

He chuckles but holds her close. "He hasn't agreed yet, Mother."

"But he will, surely," her eyes twinkle and she cups his cheek. "You must have some faith in his answer to come here for it."

Loki's smile is a careful thing but he can't hide his glee and the hints of his certainty. "I have never been one for faith."

"Bring him to me," Frigga insists again. "When he's accepted, I would meet him. I will handle Odin, but I must meet the young man to so thoroughly conquer your heart."

"You will like him," Loki answers her softly. "He's charming."

"I expect no less!" She lets him go and smooths out her gown. "Now, go my dear, I look forward to his arrival."

"I will return with him soon, Mother."

Her smile is the last thing Loki sees before he fades from Asgard and makes his way back to his lover's workshop. He keeps himself hidden when he first arrives, observing the man that is bent over an arm of his Iron Man suit. He’s muttering under his breath, but whatever the words are Loki can’t make out - as is typical with Tony he has his music blaring at a ridiculous volume. Loki has begun automatically building in sound-depressing spells when he teleports into Tony's workrooms. 

He remains where he is for a few minutes, looking at his lover and rehearsing the words he has planned. Loki is confident he’ll receive what he wants, but there is still some worry and some awareness that Tony may still need to be talked into the process. He’s willing to work at it, to suggest the first stage before presenting the second. Dropping his gaze from the man before him, Loki rests the velvet pouch in his hand. He pulls back the strings with care so that he can glimpse the golden skin of the apple. His eyes are drawn back to Tony and he imagines his mortal taking a bite and no longer being his mortal but his _im_ mortal. Loki smiles softly and draws the bag around the apple once more before he vanishes it to the safety of his pocket-dimension. All in good time. He has the first step in the process to commence first.

* * *

Tony isn’t having much luck with the Iron Man armour. He’s fiddling more than anything; he hasn’t been able to concentrate since Loki left for Asgard. He always gets concerned when Loki goes back to that gilded cage; Tony’s just waiting for Odin to snap the door shut and refuse to let Loki leave. It makes him feel frustratingly helpless. It doesn’t change when Loki leaves to wander the other world's out there either, if anything, it makes Tony even more nervous. Loki’s the most amazing creature to ever tumble their way into Tony's bed and life. He’s long since acknowledged that he's fallen for the capricious God, but he also knows that loving Loki comes with a price.

He’s willing to do a lot for the other, he’s willing to spend the rest of his life with Loki - but he also knows that doesn’t mean a lot to an immortal. Tony has run numerous calculations and if he’s being generous Tony has maybe ten years give or take before Iron Man either kills or decommissions him. Personally, he’s hoping for death. He doesn’t want to stand back and watch as Loki stays young and beautiful while he ages to dust and bones. Fuck, that will hurt less than watching Loki leave as he becomes frail and old. He loves the bad-tempered little shit, but he knows what Loki thinks of Midgardian lifespans. Loki had sniped at Thor, before he and Tony had gotten involved, about how ridiculous he was to continue courting someone who had a life so fleeting. Loki had kept those thoughts quiet as their relationship developed but Tony hasn’t forgotten. How can he when Loki praises him for his strength, genius and vitality?

Ten years is nothing to someone like Loki and Tony has enough faith in his body to believe it will still be useful for another decade and he likes to think Loki enjoys their time together enough to stick around for that heartbeat. But Tony knows the truth; when it’s over Loki will move on to bigger and badder things out in the universe somewhere. So Iron Man can take Tony out in a beautiful blaze of glory and Loki can recount him fondly in the future to whatever lover or friends that Loki gains. It's just the way it's going to be. Sometimes Tony fantasizes about having longer though - about creating a version of Extremis that will keep him alive for a few more centuries, about working out Erskine's Serum and showing Loki. He likes thinking Loki’s _happy_ about him living longer, that Loki isn't banking on Tony tapping out in a decade or so and that he’d be glad to keep up their relationship for a century or more. He really doesn't like when his thoughts spiral into darker alternatives: that he means nothing to Loki, that he's just a passing fling, that Loki holds some affection for but will grow tired of him in fifty years.

Loki has a ridiculous future in front of him and will no doubt want to share it with some long-lived species that won't die on him and who still isn't struggling with some of the basic concepts of magic. God, Tony hates it when Loki goes back to Asgard. It always makes his insecurities play havoc with him. 

Putting down the Iron Man gauntlet, he presses the tool in his hand to his forehead, pressing a little hard with his palm to try and will the self-deprecating thoughts away.

"Hey, J?" He calls, voice rougher than usual and he wonders when he last spoke. The music dulls slightly at his questions, "When did Loki say he'd be back?"

It's not Jarvis' voice that answers him. "I did not."

Tony almost drops the item in his hand when he jerks to look at the God standing in the corner, a small smirk twitching up his mouth. Tony feels a rush of affection and relief at seeing the other, but he doesn't miss the shadow in Loki's eyes, like something's worrying him. Tony puts down the tool and walks over. "What's wrong?"

Loki moves forward and presses a chaste kiss to his mouth. "Nothing, my dear. What are you working on?"

Raising his eyebrows, Tony isn't fooled for a second, but he let's the change in subject occur. "Eh. Tinkering. I want to see if I can make the repulsor more powerful without damaging the structural integrity of the suit." Tony licks his lips. "How was Asgard?"

Loki's eyes lighten and he smiles softly. "Pleasantly surprising."

"Oh?" Tony shifts and heads back to his desk. He always likes something between himself and Loki when it comes to worlds he can't reach, lest he grab Loki and physically tether him to Midgard. "What happened?"

"Frigga assisted me in ways I had not expected her to agree with."

"Oh, yeah?" He looks over his shoulder. "You never did tell me what you were going there for."

"I needed to acquire a few things as well as further feed some of the long-term plans I have made."

Tony's eyebrows shoot up and he feels the usual mixture of unease and curiosity at Loki's overarching plans. "You had to feed them, huh? Please don't tell me they're something living and liable to bite."

Loki's plans were fascinating and intricate, Tony just found it hard to stomach the knowledge that some ideas that were only in germination now could take five hundred years to fully unfold. What was he supposed to think when Loki planned that far in advance? Did Loki already have ideas for his funeral? No, that was morbid, don't go down that path.

"Perhaps they are living," Loki replies, sounding far off and a little lost in his thoughts. Tony looks over at him only to find him blinking away from wherever he's gone. His attention comes back and he even walks closer. He's acting strangely and Tony's not sure what to think of it. "Tell me, Tony, what are _your_ plans?"

Tony frowns. "My plans?"

"You are always curious about the machinations I twist and pull in the Realm Eternal. What of yours on Midgard?"

"Mine aren't impressive," Tony shakes his head. "Fight a bad guy here, start a hostile takeover there. Really, nothing like creating a political coup on Alfheim and foiling an assassination."

Loki sighs tiredly. "I truly wanted him dead, it was such a shame it worked out that way."

Tony chuckles and leans a little into Loki, feeling those longer fingers move to card through his hair. It's moments like these where he knows Loki loves him, it lets him almost forget that this has a time limit. It makes his heart ache knowing that no matter how much they prepare he _will_ hurt Loki. It might not hurt as much as Loki's death would cut Tony to ribbons, but he still has wiggled under Loki's defenses. He's seen it in the way Loki had looked cracked open and raw when Tony had found himself in the hospital a few months ago after a particularly bad battle. He'd actually been eaten, swear to God, _eaten_ and he was lucky it hadn't chewed much and just swallowed. The enzymes of the thing's stomach had burned him a fair amount and his arm had been broken. He hadn't had enough power to fight his way free and had needed to be cut out once Thor had killed the thing. It was disgusting and a little terrifying and Loki had actually shaken when he'd grasped Tony's hands.

No, when he has Loki like this or whenever he's injured, Tony knows just how much Loki cares for him. It doesn't stop him wanting to go out before they can get even more entangled or his body can fail - but it does also make the less selfish parts of Tony want Loki to leave before he truly does die on the God.

"Anthony," Loki begins softly and Tony perks up. Loki rarely calls him by his full name, it's only when Loki's angry, scared or wants to discuss something important. "I have often wondered about your courting rituals here."

 _That_ makes Tony pull back a little to look up at the blank faced Trickster. "Courting? As in dating?"

"Yes. We never quiet managed a typical Midgardian courtship, did we?"

Tony can't stop his barked laugh. He smiles. "No, I'd say we missed that by a mile. I don't even think we've had a date, I mean," he tilts his head and tries to think. "There was that time you showed up and terrorized that banquet I couldn't get out of, that was fun."

"Yes," Loki replies but he seems insistently focused and doesn't begin recounting his pleasure at mischief well performed. "But isn't Midgard specific on this ritual? That there is the courting procedure before becoming a ceremony of commitment?"

"What? Marriage?" Tony can't stop his incredulous guffaw. "Oh shit, yeah, I mean. I guess that's how people do it. Fucked if I ever wanted to try though."

"You... don't?" Loki questions, becoming a little quiet, but Tony doesn't notice, too busy sniggering over the mental image of the two of them in a rom-com setting. He has to wipe the tears from his eyes.

He finally registers Loki's asked a question and looks up at the God whose face is its usual blank mask. "Don't what?"

"Courtship and marriage, you have not desired it?"

Tony shakes his head. "Marriage is a disaster waiting to happen; take it from a guy whose watched more than a couple of hundred fall apart. Monogamy is about as far as I'll ever go in a relationship, everything else is just useless window dressing. Why bother?" 

He shrugs a little at the idea, and yeah, Tony can't stop the visual of the two of them at an alter swearing to spend their life together - but that's just the problem _their_ life. How can you swear about tying two lives when you both know one will outlive the other? It would just be a painful farce. Better to never marry and never make Loki promise to bind himself to a walking death certificate; not that Loki was likely to be the 'commit-to-a-mortal' type anyway. 

"I see," Loki murmurs quietly, and it's only than that Tony twigs to the fact Loki's hand has stopped moving in his hair. He blinks and turns to the other. Loki's eyes are miles away and his mouth is twisted strangely, Tony can't puzzle out the expression.

"Hey," he asks, "you alright?"

Loki focuses back on him, and suddenly his lips are smooth and presenting a smile that Tony doesn't buy for a moment. "Of course." He presses a kiss to Tony's temple. "Tell me of your attempts on the repulsor. I don't wish to find you in another beast's belly."

"That was _one time_ ," Tony protests.

"It only takes one time," Loki mutters quietly before raising his voice. "Now, show me."

Tony is still certain something is wrong with Loki, it's in the way his hand feels stiff, almost like he's only just holding it still. His face also feels... wrong, closed in a way Tony hasn't witnessed for a long time. Tony knows pushing is the wrong way to go about it though, Loki will speak when he wants to and not before. He just doesn't understand what triggered it - than again, sometimes what's a trigger to Loki doesn't make any sense to an outside viewer unless viewed through a kaleidoscope of Loki's own making. Tony decides to just let it rest and poke it if it's still around later. He shows Loki what he's working on instead and hopes the distance he can already feel Loki putting between them will get removed soon.

* * *

Loki stays an hour in Tony's company after their discussion before he has to leave. He runs from the tower, knowing even in his own mind that fleeing is what he is doing. He takes himself to a secluded place on a different world and lets himself gasp. He feels the words drag through his mind again, bringing with them all the pain he'd bottled and repressed while in his lover's company.

Tony had refused the mere thought of marriage. Loki wants to curl around himself and the hurt that Tony's abrupt and mocked dismissal has given him. _How can I have him now?_ He thinks and wants to howl or blow something up in his desperation. He had been certain Tony would refuse the apple if presented with it initially. He would be giving up his life, friends and family; he would outlive all he knew - but Loki had hoped he would be enough, that he could ease the mortal into the idea of eternity. He thought he had just needed to offer Midgardian courting and binding first, but Tony was not interested even in those. He did not want any further commitment than what they already shared. They never spoke of their feelings, had he misread them all? Did Tony care for him but not enough to cheat death? What if Tony had never imagined a future between them and had no plans on wanting one if it was offered? The idea makes Loki's heart feel like its fracturing and he pulls out the apple without thinking. He lets the velvet satchel fall away as he stares at the golden skin he'd pinned his plans, future, _hopes_ on.

A part of him wants to crush it, to destroy the offer that had been rejected before it could even be made. But he can't. Loki's eyes close and he wraps and hides it again. He wants to rail against the universe. He wants to hold Tony down and _force_ him to eat the apple. He wants to be able to walk back into the workshop, show Tony the apple and ask, _be mine forever_ and have Tony say _yes_. It is a foolish imagery and one he now knows will never come to pass. He is in love with his brilliant, darling, perfect mortal, and he is never going to be able to keep him.

Loki throws his magic out in a broken scream of pain and frustration. When the entire area surrounding him is demolished, he still doesn't feel any better. He knows he'll have to return to Tony soon or the other will grow worried, but how can he come back to him now? Loki closes his eyes and tips his head back. It doesn't matter, he'll return regardless. His mortal's life is fleeting and endangered constantly. He will just enjoy what time he does have, there is nothing else he can do.

* * *

It's been a month since Loki came back from Asgard and Tony is getting more than a little concerned. Loki seems pensive and sad. Tony keeps finding him in parts of the tower he doesn't usually linger in and while Tony can never see what the item is, he's caught Loki rotating something in his hands. The God stares at whatever it is before becoming aware of Tony and sending it away. He's only seen Loki's face during it once but it's filled with such wistful pain it makes Tony's heart clench. Tony is overcome with curiosity, but it's a dark interest; he wants to see what could cause that look on his lover's face so he can fix it, but he's also petrified. He's fairly sure that whatever it is, the item was what Loki got from Asgard and that the longing he has comes from a desire to leave Midgard.

Tony will admit that it's the fear that's kept him from pushing too hard to find out what's wrong with Loki. He can't concentrate on anything, too busy trying to puzzle out what could be wrong. He's thrown more than a few projects against a wall because his mind keeps cycling back to the distant God. He's only been in the lab an hour but he slips from it, knowing that today is a write off. He quietly asks JARVIS for Loki's location and walks like a man to the Gallows, knowing what he's about to do. He finds Loki on the couch in his usual hunched position, staring at his hands and whatever he holds in them.

"Loki?" he calls, coming towards the other. The item has disappeared as it always does by the time Tony's sat down. He wants to grab onto Loki and hold him close, to keep what they have from falling into shards at his feet. They've been so out-of-sync lately. Their touches have either been desperate, two people who are being taken away from the other and scrabbling to hold on - or their movements feel wrong. It's tense and uncomfortable, like they don't know who the other is or how to handle them. Tony hates it and he needs to know if he can mend it or if he needs to start looking for the alcohol so he doesn't have to be sober for a heart-destroying goodbye.

He's pressed up against Loki, their thighs touching and Tony barely resists the urge to grab the other's hand. "What's wrong, Loki?" Tony's voice cracks a little on the other's name, but he can't stop it. "I don't know what happened. Did I do something? You've got to help me out, I don't know how to fix this."

Loki looks like he's not going to answer just like he's been doing for the last few weeks, but when Loki's eyes connect with his Tony can see something crack a moment before the words slip from Loki's lips, "Why don't you desire a bond?"

The _with me_ is silent but there, hanging in the air after Loki's question.

He doesn't expect it. Tony would have no idea what Loki is referencing if he hadn't gone over that conversation in his head numerous times trying to find out what had gone wrong. Tony had thought up and discarded more than a thousand possibilities, but he hadn't considered this and he's certain this can't be the core of the issue. It still a piece of it though and Tony's happy for anywhere he can start.

He still laughs a little roughly, wondering what else will come up next, but still remaining honest; far more honest than he actually intends to be. "I wouldn't want to make you a widow, Loki."

"What?" Loki's eyes widen with shock.

Tony rubs the back of his neck, feeling slightly awkward and exposed the way expressing his feelings always do. "I don't need a ceremony to know you care about me and we both know I'm just going to be a flash in your life." And that hurts to admit aloud. "What we have is great and it's something I want to spend the rest of my life doing," he gives Loki a sad smile he can't stop, "but we both know you've got a lot more of a life ahead of you then I do. There will be other people for you - longer lived ones if you have any sense at all - and you should be marrying them." He takes in a breath to steady his voice. "I don't want you to marry me, because I don't want to hurt you anymore then I already will when I die."

Tony holds his breath, worried about how Loki will take that confession. The Trickster stays still and silent for a heart-stopping moment before he huffs a noise that sounds caught between disbelief and relief. He actually slumps, his perfect posture disappearing as he leans on Tony slightly. He can feel the strands of Loki's hair against his cheek and curling somewhere near his nose. He's too confused to bat them away. Loki makes a few quick gestures with his hands and suddenly there's a golden apple spinning slowly above Loki's palm. Tony's eyes go wide with interest and he leans forward slightly and reaches out. When he receives no reprimand he pokes the item, causing it to wobble in its otherwise smooth rotation before correcting itself.

"This will make you as immortal as an Aesir," Loki tells him softly and Tony freezes, hand hovering beside the fruit. Loki reaches up and strokes the back of Tony's neck, his fingers are trembling slightly but Tony's too blown away to try and comfort him. "I was worried you wouldn't wish to spend an eternity with me, that you wouldn't wish to forsake your loved ones and extend your time. I had," Loki swallows, "I had _hoped_ that I might court you in the Midgardian way of bonds before I presented you with this. I thought you might be more inclined to choose me for longer than just your life had you already chosen me as your husband."

" _Loki_ ," Tony breathes. He means to say more, but nothing comes out. He just keeps staring.

"When you told me you did not intend to marry," Loki continues, looking at the fruit with an undercurrent of hurt in his voice. Tony wonders if he's remembering the day in the workshop. "I felt as if you were dying. You _were_ dying to me, Tony." Loki's hand moves, cupping the back of Tony's neck almost enough to hurt. "Please," Loki murmurs, the word foreign on his tongue but no less sincere. "I have spent weeks thinking your death would be inevitable and you would choose it over me. _Please_ don't tell me that again."

"You want me to spend eternity with you?" Tony can feel Loki's eyes on him, piercing and searching - but for what? Disgust or negativity? He can feel the tension begin to leak from Loki's bones while hope creeps into his tone, held back only by the fear of gaining rejection again. 

"I want to spend _my_ life with you," Loki vows and Tony is silent for a long moment his eyes on the apple but also far away. The whisper suddenly slips free; apology and fear and passion tainting Loki's words. "I can't promise I won't make you."

It jerks Tony out of his thoughts to look at Loki. He's pale and his eyes are wild. "What?" Tony quickly connects the dots; not sure whether to be angry, offended or flattered. Fuck it all, he ends up on annoyingly _fond_. "You'll force me to eat it if it keeps me alive?"

"Thousands of years is a long time to hold a grudge," Loki smiles but it's almost a grimace. "You'd forgive me one day, I'd like to think."

"You were already planning it," Tony guesses. The shift of Loki's eyes is all the answer he needs. Tony feels a swell of affection for the God in front of him, and with it comes the realization of just _what_ this means. What he's being offered and what he already thinks of it. Tony sucks in a sharp breath before letting it out slowly. Loki is watching him, eyes wide with equal parts hope, fear and longing. Tony drops his gaze back to the fruit. He wonders if Loki stole it; he wouldn't put it past him. Slowly, Tony feels himself relax, not having noticed he'd become tense. This has been something he's thought of before, didn't imagine was _possible_ and here it is, offered to him by the man he loves. He sinks into Loki's side, letting his head fall to rest on Loki's shoulder, he breathes in the Trickster's smell.

"Tony?" Loki questions.

Tony knows Loki can't see his small grin but he lets it spread across his face anyway. "Hey, Loki," he begins, "will you marry me?"

The breath Loki lets out is followed by a strangled laugh. He uses the grip on Tony's neck to yank him back up so they can look into each other's eyes. Loki's has gained the light it's been missing for the past few weeks and his smile is razor sharp but everything else is soft and filled with warmth. "You insufferable mortal."

"That wasn't a yes!" Tony protests before his lips are caught.

Breathed against them is the most beautiful two words he could have heard - other than _immortal apple_ or _mine forever_ but it was all the same thing really.

"I will," Loki promises. 

Tony just pulls him closer, his heart ready to burst and a future he didn't dare dream of tingling at his fingertips. They had time and they both wanted to spend it together; Tony suddenly didn’t fear growing older any longer.

**Author's Note:**

> Hal is constantly surprised when I end up with a happy end. I'm a little surprised too. Her fault. She's tainting my angsty ways. 
> 
> Thanks for reading everyone, I hope you enjoyed :) (Even if I'm not super happy with it. *frowns*)


End file.
